Wednesday, September 17, 2014
I have moved!
I moved my blog! I am so excited about the change and the chance to do bigger and better things. So click here for my new blog! I look forward to feedback from you all!
Monday, September 15, 2014
New content available soon!
So I have not posted in a very very long time and I decided it was time for a re-haul. Thank you for all the kind words on my last few posts, I look forward to blogging about things people actually care about for a change. So here's to fresh starts. When you come back I will have a whole new look!
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
The Future Ms. Maegan Kasteler
Last night I was literally laying in my bed watching the minutes tick by on my roommates clock. I got to thinking. I have no idea what I am doing with my life. Here I am supposedly half way done with college and I cant picture where I want to be in 20 years let a lone 5. I am not satisfied with my major, I feel like I am wasting my time and money on an education that I am not getting anything out of, and I just do not know what I am doing with my life.
I then got to thinking about what I have done with the last 19 years of my life. I have had some wonderful opportunities but there are things I would change if I could go back. You know all those cliche songs and poems and quote about if you could write a letter to yourself or travel back in time and tell yourself what to do. I think I would take the chance to do just that. I would tell myself to not get fat, to go out and make friends instead of curling up with a book and food. I would tell myself to study harder, get better grades, and get involved early. I would make sure my dad was screened for cancer earlier. I would tell myself to practice the piano more and get better. I would tell myself to stay close to the Lord. I would tell myself to always pray morning and night, and to always read my scriptures. I would warn myself of the mistakes I have made and implore myself to not make them.
OK, so where would that leave me? I don't know but I can't help but think that I would be a better person (I honestly love who I am but these would be awesome improvements).
But I can't change the past. I can't do anything to remedy the trials I have been through. So now I focus on the future, but the problem with that is I don't know, I cannot see nor predict my future. I don't even know what I want to do.
I am so used to living my life one day at a time. It was easier that way. I started doing that when my dad got sick. Just take it a day at a time. Hold yourself together for 15-20 hours then start anew the next morning. That is how I survived. Now it has been over 3 years and I am still doing that. I am surviving, not thriving. But I am stuck. I cannot seem to find the path that was made for me. I feel like I am just floundering around.
So I have concluded that I am just a work in progress. I don't know what I am doing with my life. I am trying to lose weight, I am striving to become a better member Mormon, and I am trying to find my way.
I then got to thinking about what I have done with the last 19 years of my life. I have had some wonderful opportunities but there are things I would change if I could go back. You know all those cliche songs and poems and quote about if you could write a letter to yourself or travel back in time and tell yourself what to do. I think I would take the chance to do just that. I would tell myself to not get fat, to go out and make friends instead of curling up with a book and food. I would tell myself to study harder, get better grades, and get involved early. I would make sure my dad was screened for cancer earlier. I would tell myself to practice the piano more and get better. I would tell myself to stay close to the Lord. I would tell myself to always pray morning and night, and to always read my scriptures. I would warn myself of the mistakes I have made and implore myself to not make them.
OK, so where would that leave me? I don't know but I can't help but think that I would be a better person (I honestly love who I am but these would be awesome improvements).
But I can't change the past. I can't do anything to remedy the trials I have been through. So now I focus on the future, but the problem with that is I don't know, I cannot see nor predict my future. I don't even know what I want to do.
I am so used to living my life one day at a time. It was easier that way. I started doing that when my dad got sick. Just take it a day at a time. Hold yourself together for 15-20 hours then start anew the next morning. That is how I survived. Now it has been over 3 years and I am still doing that. I am surviving, not thriving. But I am stuck. I cannot seem to find the path that was made for me. I feel like I am just floundering around.
So I have concluded that I am just a work in progress. I don't know what I am doing with my life. I am trying to lose weight, I am striving to become a better member Mormon, and I am trying to find my way.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
My 2 cents on women and the priesthood
I am a single Mormon woman who a week ago Saturday had the amazing opportunity to attend a broadcast of the General Women's Meeting. This was the first time since long before I was born where all women of the church over the age of 8 were gathered together to listen to the inspired words of our church leaders. I was near tears from the very beginning because I have never felt the presence of the Holy Ghost so strongly during a broadcast. All I could think the whole time is that I hope that the precious young daughters of God who I will be given stewardship over this summer at Oakcrest were also in attendance somewhere. We truly heard divine inspiration.
Fast forward to today. This Saturday is the start of the 184th Semi-Annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Recently there has been a lot of attention thrown on the Church, specifically the women of the Church. Not all this attention has been good. The New York Times recently published an article entitled "From Mormon Women, a Flood of Requests and Questions on Their Role in the Church"which you can read here or even this article, also published in The New York Times, about how the lowering of the mission age for girls is signaling a "growing role for Mormon women".
Let me explain to you why I, Maegan Kasteler, will not be attending the Ordain Women movement.
I, Maegan Kasteler, am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father who has much love for me and all of his children. I know this. I know that I have divine nature that is not altered or swayed by the views and opinions of the world. I believe that women have been endowed with certain attributes that allow us to be mothers, to nurture, to bear and rear children.
Now that I have explained some of my beliefs let me better explain exactly why I am not attending the Ordain Women movement.
We live in a world that I believe is trying to make everything equal. Equal is good there should not be things like segregation and discrimination. However, "equal" does not always mean "same". 2+2 equals 4 just as much as 3+1 equals 4.
I am a strong independent woman who wishes to have a career and to be successful. I also desire to be a mother and to raise children in the gospel. I do not have the desire to hold the priesthood. I have lived in a family that for the past 2+ years has not had a holder of the Melchizedek priesthood in the home. I have felt that hole and it has been all too real. But I still have the priesthood in my life. I have grandfathers, uncles, friends, and church leaders who are ready and willing and worthy to exercise their God given power on behalf of me. Throughout this time I have been able to be reassured in my calling as a Woman in the Gospel. I have power that I am unaware of. I have the ability to do more than my mortal mind can comprehend. I do not need to hold the priesthood to reap the benefits.
I can see where the members of the OW movement are coming from. If you look at it, it does appear that the Church oppresses women. Here is how I see it, by encouraging us to rear and bear children the Church encourages us to exercise a God given power to gestate and give birth to His children. We are asked and have the ability to be the sacred vessels to bring these choice spirits into the world. Notice I said a "God given power". I used that phrase earlier to describe the priesthood.
And that is how I see it. It is simple. We have been endowed with sacred power, both men and women, the power is different but we are equal. God sees us all as his children, we should all see in ourselves and others what God sees us and who he knows we can become.
*I hope that I have not offended anyone. This is my personal blog where I am free to express my opinions. Please if you have any negative comments refrain from posting them on my blog! Thank you!
Fast forward to today. This Saturday is the start of the 184th Semi-Annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Recently there has been a lot of attention thrown on the Church, specifically the women of the Church. Not all this attention has been good. The New York Times recently published an article entitled "From Mormon Women, a Flood of Requests and Questions on Their Role in the Church"which you can read here or even this article, also published in The New York Times, about how the lowering of the mission age for girls is signaling a "growing role for Mormon women".
Let me explain to you why I, Maegan Kasteler, will not be attending the Ordain Women movement.
I, Maegan Kasteler, am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father who has much love for me and all of his children. I know this. I know that I have divine nature that is not altered or swayed by the views and opinions of the world. I believe that women have been endowed with certain attributes that allow us to be mothers, to nurture, to bear and rear children.
Now that I have explained some of my beliefs let me better explain exactly why I am not attending the Ordain Women movement.
We live in a world that I believe is trying to make everything equal. Equal is good there should not be things like segregation and discrimination. However, "equal" does not always mean "same". 2+2 equals 4 just as much as 3+1 equals 4.
I am a strong independent woman who wishes to have a career and to be successful. I also desire to be a mother and to raise children in the gospel. I do not have the desire to hold the priesthood. I have lived in a family that for the past 2+ years has not had a holder of the Melchizedek priesthood in the home. I have felt that hole and it has been all too real. But I still have the priesthood in my life. I have grandfathers, uncles, friends, and church leaders who are ready and willing and worthy to exercise their God given power on behalf of me. Throughout this time I have been able to be reassured in my calling as a Woman in the Gospel. I have power that I am unaware of. I have the ability to do more than my mortal mind can comprehend. I do not need to hold the priesthood to reap the benefits.
I can see where the members of the OW movement are coming from. If you look at it, it does appear that the Church oppresses women. Here is how I see it, by encouraging us to rear and bear children the Church encourages us to exercise a God given power to gestate and give birth to His children. We are asked and have the ability to be the sacred vessels to bring these choice spirits into the world. Notice I said a "God given power". I used that phrase earlier to describe the priesthood.
And that is how I see it. It is simple. We have been endowed with sacred power, both men and women, the power is different but we are equal. God sees us all as his children, we should all see in ourselves and others what God sees us and who he knows we can become.
*I hope that I have not offended anyone. This is my personal blog where I am free to express my opinions. Please if you have any negative comments refrain from posting them on my blog! Thank you!
Monday, March 17, 2014
A Ring with Meaning (NOT AN ENGAGEMENT RING)
So have two rings that I wear all the time, constantly, I almost never take them off. I did not wear them in Africa and I try to take them off when I put on lotion, but apart from that they are always on my fingers. One stays on my left hand thumb, the other, my right hand ring finger. Both are silver. Both have very special meanings to me. Both were gifts. Both have gotten pretty beat up over the years. One has been on my finger since 2008 and the other since 2010.
The one on top usually resides on my thumb of my left hand. My dad gave me this ring. He purchased it for me on a trip to Washington DC at Mount Vernon. It has stayed on my finger for so long there is indents on my thumb and the ring is no longer perfectly round. Every time I see this ring I think of my dad, and the love he had and still has for me. (cue George Strait song "Love Without End") "Daddy's don't just love their children every now and then, it's a love without end, amen."
The second was given to me at Youth Conference. It stays on my ring finger of my right hand. The concept is the same as a CTR ring (choose the right) that many LDS people wear. This one is special because all the youth in my ward got this ring, many of us still wear them today. Everyone from college students, return missionaries, current missionaries, and young married people still wear this ring. It is scratched and pretty beat up some of the black in the word choice is coming off. But every day I wear this it reminds me that I have a choice, I can choose good over evil, I can choose to be happy, I can choose to be whoever I want to be. I am also reminded of friendships gained through a loving ward.
They will stay on my fingers for who know how many more years. They are a part of me.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Something Exciting Has Happened
Something exciting has happened.
Something so exciting I can hardly contain myself. On saturday at 12:34 I received a phone call that changed the course of my future, well at least my summer.
I am going to be an Oakcrest Counselor/Craft Specialist.
I went to Oakcrest Girls Camp twice as a youth and I love it. Ever since then it has kinda always been in the back of my mind that I could be an Oakcrest Counselor. So I applied in December. In January I had an interview where I was surrounded by 15 women who were all asking me questions. Now I am pretty good at interviews but this was different. 15 women asking me every question on every topic. From spiritual to platonic and many questions about my dear sister who was a counselor two summers ago. (You can read about her experiences here.)
After waiting for almost a whole month the day finally came. All day Saturday I was anxious and nervous. I was lucky I was able to sleep the night before. I had driven out to Nibley with Habitat for Humanity to work on some houses and sure enough right after we pulled up I got the call. Here is about how it went:
12:34 phone rings
me: (thinking) *oh it is a 435 area code, it probably isn't about Oakcrest* (435 is a Logan area code)
I answered my phone
Me: Hello?
caller: Hi is this Maegan?
Me: This is She.
caller: Hi this is Coco from Oakcrest.
Me: (thinking) *OH MY GOSH THIS IS ABOUT OAKCREST!!! DO THEY CALL PEOPLE IF THEY DON'T GET THE JOB? DOES THIS MEAN I GOT THE JOB?!?!? AHHHHHH!!!!!)
Caller: I am calling because we want to offer you the position of Craft Specialist would you be willing to accept?
Me: *trying so hard to contain myself* YES! I would love to accept!!!
Caller: ok well we will be sending you more information in the mail next week. Ah I am so excited I just love you already! We are so excited!
Me: I am too!
Caller: well we will see you soon!
*hangs up*
meanwhile, while this conversation is going on I am literally having to cover my mouth to keep my screams of excitement contained.
So, yup, I am pretty excited.
Something so exciting I can hardly contain myself. On saturday at 12:34 I received a phone call that changed the course of my future, well at least my summer.
I am going to be an Oakcrest Counselor/Craft Specialist.
I went to Oakcrest Girls Camp twice as a youth and I love it. Ever since then it has kinda always been in the back of my mind that I could be an Oakcrest Counselor. So I applied in December. In January I had an interview where I was surrounded by 15 women who were all asking me questions. Now I am pretty good at interviews but this was different. 15 women asking me every question on every topic. From spiritual to platonic and many questions about my dear sister who was a counselor two summers ago. (You can read about her experiences here.)
After waiting for almost a whole month the day finally came. All day Saturday I was anxious and nervous. I was lucky I was able to sleep the night before. I had driven out to Nibley with Habitat for Humanity to work on some houses and sure enough right after we pulled up I got the call. Here is about how it went:
12:34 phone rings
me: (thinking) *oh it is a 435 area code, it probably isn't about Oakcrest* (435 is a Logan area code)
I answered my phone
Me: Hello?
caller: Hi is this Maegan?
Me: This is She.
caller: Hi this is Coco from Oakcrest.
Me: (thinking) *OH MY GOSH THIS IS ABOUT OAKCREST!!! DO THEY CALL PEOPLE IF THEY DON'T GET THE JOB? DOES THIS MEAN I GOT THE JOB?!?!? AHHHHHH!!!!!)
Caller: I am calling because we want to offer you the position of Craft Specialist would you be willing to accept?
Me: *trying so hard to contain myself* YES! I would love to accept!!!
Caller: ok well we will be sending you more information in the mail next week. Ah I am so excited I just love you already! We are so excited!
Me: I am too!
Caller: well we will see you soon!
*hangs up*
meanwhile, while this conversation is going on I am literally having to cover my mouth to keep my screams of excitement contained.
So, yup, I am pretty excited.
Monday, February 17, 2014
A lifelong struggle... *disclaimer* this is a very sensitive topic for me
I have struggled with something for my whole life, as long as I can remember. My weight has always been a big struggle and stumbling block for me. I have always had issues looking in the mirror and seeing someone who was beautiful, someone who deserved to be loved, someone who had potential. Because of my self confidence issues I had a really hard time making friends for a lot of years. I honestly never felt like I fit in anywhere.
It was not until sophomore year that I felt like I really had friends, and it was not until junior year that I really was able to find a place where I belonged but I still felt like I was out of place. I was surrounded by lots of people who I thought were prettier than me. And it was all because of the weight issue. To me beautiful was skinny, long hair, big eyes, and tan skin. I had none of these things.
As much as I joke and laugh about my weight I am still not happy in my own skin. I don't know what made me decided to dedicate myself to becoming happy and changing but in November I decided it was time to change my life. Not only so I can finally look in the mirror and believe myself when I say I am beautiful but so I can be healthy.
It is no longer just about me, it is about my future family. While that is definitely a long way away I have decided that now is my time to change. I refuse to be a fat bride. While this is a long way away as well I have discovered that I have refused to let myself be happy. I have denied myself so many opportunities because I was scared.
So I decided to change, I started going to the gym and eating right. I signed up to do the Biggest Loser at USU. Then on Christmas Eve I slipped and fell and seriously injured my left knee. This threw a wrench in my plans. I didn't tear anything in my knee but I injured it enough that I cannot work out, in fact, I can hardly walk. I am currently going through physical therapy and in 8 weeks the orthopedic surgeon that I have been seeing will reevaluate and if I am not showing considerable improvement surgery would be the next step. As soon as my knee problems have been resolved its back to the gym for me. It is funny, every day I can't work out I want to even more. I never imagined I would ever say I was dying to go work out.
this is not going to be me for long. It is time to change.
Friday, January 31, 2014
So you're going through a style revolution...
So you're going through a style revolution, so am I...
I just realized that every new article of clothing I buy or even just lust after is different than what I have ever liked.
I just realized that my old wardrobe consisted mostly of shirts left over from 8th grade.
I just realized that even though I own 92 pairs of shoes I only wear about 3 of them.
I just realized that I keep looking up ways to change my hair.
I just realized I stopped buying drugstore makeup and started splurging on things like Bare Minerals and Urban Decay's Naked 3 Palate.
I went in for a trim and ended up taking off 5 more inches.
I started hoarding every trendy nail polish color.
I started online shopping from stores I have never even set foot in.
I am sick of my routine.
So why not change it up?
Why not chop off your hair?
Why not change your wardrobe?
Why not hoard nail polish?
Why not donate more than half of your wardrobe to the DI?
Why not splurge a little every now and then?
So I did.
I just realized that every new article of clothing I buy or even just lust after is different than what I have ever liked.
I just realized that my old wardrobe consisted mostly of shirts left over from 8th grade.
I just realized that even though I own 92 pairs of shoes I only wear about 3 of them.
I just realized that I keep looking up ways to change my hair.
I just realized I stopped buying drugstore makeup and started splurging on things like Bare Minerals and Urban Decay's Naked 3 Palate.
I went in for a trim and ended up taking off 5 more inches.
I started hoarding every trendy nail polish color.
I started online shopping from stores I have never even set foot in.
I am sick of my routine.
So why not change it up?
Why not chop off your hair?
Why not change your wardrobe?
Why not hoard nail polish?
Why not donate more than half of your wardrobe to the DI?
Why not splurge a little every now and then?
So I did.
Monday, January 6, 2014
A Very Special Day
Today is a very special day. Today my baby brother turns 16. Crazy right! 16 years ago when we lived in California my parents told me and my sister Lauren that we were going to have a new sibling. They asked us wether we wanted a brother or another sister. My sister answered right away that she wanted a brother. I on the other hand wanted a sister. Much to my dismay it was a brother. I never would have thought that 16 years later he would be my best friend, my partner in crime, my star-wars-watching buddy, my lunch going friend, my cohort in surprising my mother, and my favorite sunday drive buddy. I am sure it is not easy being my brother but he sure does a great job! Who knew a 16 year old could be so amazing.
Happy birthday to that stud in the middle.
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Christmas
Sometimes it just hits you, what is really important. You realize as you are surrounded by torn and crinkled wrapping paper that all that money spent on Christmas presents that even after all the hours spent meticulously wrapping box after box none of this means a thing. Sure, your family and friends love you but receiving and even giving are not the reason for the holiday. Even though major amounts of commercialism have managed to sneak into this most sacred holiday the reason is still the birth of our Savior. I am guilty of being swept casually into the wave of consumerism that ebbs and flows through the world this time of year and that fact I will never deny. But something special happened this year. I amongst the many gifts I was ever grateful to receive this year I got two wonderful gifts, or treasures. The first is a simple silver necklace in the shape of a tear drop upon which an artist carefully replicated my fathers handwriting, a simple send off at the end of a letter that is now immortalized for me to wear close to my heart. A treasure, not just a gift. Second was a painting I have been admiring since I returned home from Africa. I am a lover of art and I find pictures of my Savior to be specifically compelling. In this painting Christ is holding a small African child. Again, not just a gift but a treasure.
Even though Christmas is over I hope we all remember why we celebrate and we carry that spirit throughout the next year.
Merry Christmas.
Friday, December 13, 2013
3 Down Who Knows How Many More to Go
Meet Hank.
As of today Hank has gotten me through 3 finals weeks. He is covered in mascara stains, has a few holes and even a spot that was melted by a flat iron.
This week not only did Hank get me through all 4 of my tests he also got me through:
3 all nighters
2 nervous break downs
14 hours of crying
8 showers to get warm
32 hours in the library
10 rounds of ibuprofen
6 skipped meals
4 McDonald's runs and
lots of Diet Coke
All I can say is I am so glad this week and this semester is over.
As of today Hank has gotten me through 3 finals weeks. He is covered in mascara stains, has a few holes and even a spot that was melted by a flat iron.
This week not only did Hank get me through all 4 of my tests he also got me through:
3 all nighters
2 nervous break downs
14 hours of crying
8 showers to get warm
32 hours in the library
10 rounds of ibuprofen
6 skipped meals
4 McDonald's runs and
lots of Diet Coke
All I can say is I am so glad this week and this semester is over.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Angels
Did you know that there are Angels everywhere? They are watching out for us, guiding us, and still loving us from the other side of the veil.
Genesis 25:8 says:
8 Then Abraham gave up the ghost, and died in a gooda old age, an old man, and full of years; and was b gathered to his people.
Abraham was "gathered to his people" or his family.
Over the past few years I have watched the hand of the Lord in my life, the life of my friends and family and I have come to the conclusion that our loved ones never really leave us. They stay with us. The veil is so so very thin. I have watched random acts of kindness that prove that we can be earthly angles to those around us. We can be the hand by which our father or the spirits of our ancestors help others.
I am so blessed to have many angles looking out for me. My dad, my grandma, my aunt Jenni, and my friends Paige and Tiffany.
D&C 42
a taste of b death, for it shall be c sweet unto them;
Genesis 25:8 says:
8 Then Abraham gave up the ghost, and died in a good
Abraham was "gathered to his people" or his family.
"The spirits of the just are exalted to a greater and more glorious work... Enveloped in the flaming fire, they are not far from us, and know and understand our thoughts, feelings, and motions, and are often pained there with."
-Joseph SmithThe spirits of our loved ones past, present, and future, are with us, they walk beside us, they know our thoughts, our pains and our emotions. They guide others to help us, they comfort us, they help direct us in paths of righteousness.
Over the past few years I have watched the hand of the Lord in my life, the life of my friends and family and I have come to the conclusion that our loved ones never really leave us. They stay with us. The veil is so so very thin. I have watched random acts of kindness that prove that we can be earthly angles to those around us. We can be the hand by which our father or the spirits of our ancestors help others.
I am so blessed to have many angles looking out for me. My dad, my grandma, my aunt Jenni, and my friends Paige and Tiffany.
D&C 42
45 Thou shalt a live together in b love, insomuch that thou shaltc weep for the loss of them that die, and more especially for those that have not d hope of a glorious resurrection.
46 And it shall come to pass that those that die in me shall notMonday, November 18, 2013
We made it 2 whole years
Today marks 2 whole years since my dad passed away. I honestly cannot believe it. Today, in order to keep myself from crying all day and spending the day in bed under my beautiful down comforter, I decided to do everything I could to celebrate everything my dad was. Eat his favorite foods, do things he loved, and celebrate his life not mourn his passing. So I chronicled my day (past couple weeks) in pictures.
a few weeks ago Elder Zwick came and spoke at our Stake Conference. He was a good friend of my dad
This morning I ate oatmeal for breakfast, my dad's favorite breakfast
Last weekend when I went home I visited my dad. This is my favorite place to think
A day/week in honor of my dad would not be complete without cheesy scrambled eggs
Before
And a not very good after pic
13 inches donated. 2.5 years ago I decided to grow out my hair to make a wig for my dad. Today 2 years after his passing. I chopped it all off and donated it to someone else who could really use it
ice cream.... that is pretty self explanatory
Ate dinner at Texas Roadhouse with some awesome friends. It was so wonderful to know that Leah was looking forward to this as much as I was all day. It was also so wonderful that Yusuf and Nadir decided to come along. A nice steak dinner was in order after a very long emotional day.
(unrelated to my day of celebration, but we had a lot of left overs)
ya know, it is still really hard. There are days where all I do is cry and cry and cry. But my dad would want me to be happy. So today was all about being happy and celebrating his life not mourning his death. It has still been a really hard day but I am getting through it. My dad is still my best friend and my hero, and he always will be.
This song is one that means the world to me. It really hits home
thanks for all the love and support
Monday, November 11, 2013
The Big 4
So if you know me you know that I am a huge fan of making lists, goals and bucket lists. Well lately I have been thinking a lot about my future and what I want to do with my life. I have settled on 4 goals, or the Big 4 as I have come to call them. These goals have been thought about and prayed about to a point where I feel so so very excited about my future. Well without further adieu here they are
Now a bunch of random pinterest quotes if you care to read them
- Travel to every continent and do humanitarian work (I will visit Antarctica but I do not know if you can do any humanitarian work there)
- Start a Non-Profit
- Work for Huntsman Cancer Foundation/Hospital
- Become a motivational/inspirational speaker
Now a bunch of random pinterest quotes if you care to read them
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
A Right of Passage
Well today I hit a momentous milestone in my life. I tried, for the first time, the famed Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich. It all started yesterday during my office hours in the Service Center here at USU. Somehow we got talking about them and I foolishly admitted that I had never tried one. Obviously this came as a shock to my friends since the PB&J is the American kids staple food. So today when I was back in the office Amy decided it was today that I must try this "amazing" sandwich. On trip to the hub later we had all the makings for my first sandwich. So here is the picture proof that I did indeed bite into the concoction. Lets just say, it won't be my go to meal of choice but overall it wasn't too bad.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
the why?s and the WHY!!!!s
In my institute class we have been discussing the different ways that we ask why? Well my teacher Bro Fillmore has narrowed it down to 2 main ways to ask. The first is the tentative, answer seeking, humble way. The one we use when we sincerely want to know the answer. The second is filled with anger and contempt with a dash of unwillingness. So. Today I was thinking about this. I do not find it to be a coincidence that today marks the 3 year anniversary since my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. This is something that I have been fighting a lot with lately. I find myself on a daily basis asking the WHY!!! and not wanting an answer. It has been truly humbling to turn around and ask the why? instead. I still do not know the answer to that question, but I am looking.
so what kind of whys are you asking?
so what kind of whys are you asking?
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
100 things to know about me
1. I play piano
2. I am addicted to diet coke
3. I will most likely die of cancer
4. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
5. I love little kids
6. My least favorite part of my body is the backs of my knees
7. I love to sing
8. I've always wanted to be a doctor
9. I love to quilt
10. Popcorn is my favorite vegetable
11. I want to travel the world
12. I love to make cookies
13. I am in love
14. I love my freckles
15. Country music
16. I hate green grapes
17. I love my family
18. I've always wanted a Dalmatian
19. I love shoes
20. Pedicures
21. I'm wretched with money
22. My favorite color is purple
23. I know how to use power tools
24. I love to fish
25. I miss playing soccer
26. My biggest fear is spiders
27. I had to grow up really fast so I feel like I've already been a mom
28. I love snail mail
29. I am writing 18 missionaries consistently
30. My biggest fault is a lack of emotion about serious things
31. I love/am good at public speaking
32. I miss my dad
33. I'm allergic to the sun
34. I am a people person
35. I want to change the world
36. I will start a non-profit before I die
37. I have gorgeous blue eyes
38. My hair is longer now than its ever been
39. Bugs terrify me
40. I am a hopeless romantic
41. I am a social media junkie
42. I don't know what I did before I had my iPad
43. I collect nail polish
44. I miss creating art (calligraphy, sketches, painting, pottery)
45. I love photography
46. My greatest pride is my piano skill
47. I've been to the equator
48. I will love in NYC before I die
49. Mint Cookie dough ice cream is the best
50. I hate beans
51. My sister is my best friend
52. I love glee
53. I consider myself to be domestic
54. I cannot wait to be a mom (but I can wait)
55. I want to go skydiving
56. I am a thrill seeker
57. I love to floss my teeth
58. I'm more attached to people than things
59. I am afraid of loss
60. Peonies are my favorite flower
62. I love to throw things away
63. I can shop for hours
64 I consider myself to be stylish
65. I've always wanted to play guitar but I can't
66. I would rather spend time with little kids then people my age
67. I have a destructive semi-slutty alter ego
68. I've never kissed anyone I was in love with
69. The happiest day of my life was high school graduation
70. I haven't been home on my birthday in 5 years
71. I pick my toenails
72. I tend to be too busy to eat and sleep
73. I hate politics
74. I have a problem with people who gossip but I gossip myself
75. I want to be just like my mom
76. I have both a short attention span and an abnormally long one depending in the situation
77. I can remember the most random obscure facts but frequently lose important things (passport, dl, keys,...)
78. I've never played sports competitively
79. My biggest regret is never asking my dad about his mission
80. I sing and dance but only when I'm alone
81. I can't hear out of my right ear
82. I love being a leader
83. I am actually incredibly shy
84. I hate showering, I don't like looking at my body when it's wet
85. I love to online shop
86. I am super young for my age group
87. I have a strange attachment to clothes
88. I've always wanted to learn how to knit
89. My sister and I look like twins
90. I'm a lot like my dad
91. I hate studying
92. I can play the organ
93. The strongest muscle in my body is my thumb
94. I've broken both my arms
95. I hate sour things
96. I love going on dates but never get asked
97. I need a lot of sleep
98. I wish I could chop off my boobs
99. I have an abnormally large head
100. I love sushi
2. I am addicted to diet coke
3. I will most likely die of cancer
4. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
5. I love little kids
6. My least favorite part of my body is the backs of my knees
7. I love to sing
8. I've always wanted to be a doctor
9. I love to quilt
10. Popcorn is my favorite vegetable
11. I want to travel the world
12. I love to make cookies
13. I am in love
14. I love my freckles
15. Country music
16. I hate green grapes
17. I love my family
18. I've always wanted a Dalmatian
19. I love shoes
20. Pedicures
21. I'm wretched with money
22. My favorite color is purple
23. I know how to use power tools
24. I love to fish
25. I miss playing soccer
26. My biggest fear is spiders
27. I had to grow up really fast so I feel like I've already been a mom
28. I love snail mail
29. I am writing 18 missionaries consistently
30. My biggest fault is a lack of emotion about serious things
31. I love/am good at public speaking
32. I miss my dad
33. I'm allergic to the sun
34. I am a people person
35. I want to change the world
36. I will start a non-profit before I die
37. I have gorgeous blue eyes
38. My hair is longer now than its ever been
39. Bugs terrify me
40. I am a hopeless romantic
41. I am a social media junkie
42. I don't know what I did before I had my iPad
43. I collect nail polish
44. I miss creating art (calligraphy, sketches, painting, pottery)
45. I love photography
46. My greatest pride is my piano skill
47. I've been to the equator
48. I will love in NYC before I die
49. Mint Cookie dough ice cream is the best
50. I hate beans
51. My sister is my best friend
52. I love glee
53. I consider myself to be domestic
54. I cannot wait to be a mom (but I can wait)
55. I want to go skydiving
56. I am a thrill seeker
57. I love to floss my teeth
58. I'm more attached to people than things
59. I am afraid of loss
60. Peonies are my favorite flower
62. I love to throw things away
63. I can shop for hours
64 I consider myself to be stylish
65. I've always wanted to play guitar but I can't
66. I would rather spend time with little kids then people my age
67. I have a destructive semi-slutty alter ego
68. I've never kissed anyone I was in love with
69. The happiest day of my life was high school graduation
70. I haven't been home on my birthday in 5 years
71. I pick my toenails
72. I tend to be too busy to eat and sleep
73. I hate politics
74. I have a problem with people who gossip but I gossip myself
75. I want to be just like my mom
76. I have both a short attention span and an abnormally long one depending in the situation
77. I can remember the most random obscure facts but frequently lose important things (passport, dl, keys,...)
78. I've never played sports competitively
79. My biggest regret is never asking my dad about his mission
80. I sing and dance but only when I'm alone
81. I can't hear out of my right ear
82. I love being a leader
83. I am actually incredibly shy
84. I hate showering, I don't like looking at my body when it's wet
85. I love to online shop
86. I am super young for my age group
87. I have a strange attachment to clothes
88. I've always wanted to learn how to knit
89. My sister and I look like twins
90. I'm a lot like my dad
91. I hate studying
92. I can play the organ
93. The strongest muscle in my body is my thumb
94. I've broken both my arms
95. I hate sour things
96. I love going on dates but never get asked
97. I need a lot of sleep
98. I wish I could chop off my boobs
99. I have an abnormally large head
100. I love sushi
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Summa Summa!
Well it is finally drawing to a close. Summer is almost officially over. This was an interesting summer to say the least. I wasn't out parting every night like I have done in the past. Most nights I just enjoyed some alone time. Most Friday nights consisted of me watching Bride Night on TLC sometimes even while taking a soak in the tub. I went back to work at Canyon View Cleaners and I traveled. I also learned A LOT this summer. I thought I might as well share some of them with you.
This summer I learned...
a little bit about how to spot your true friends
some more about the need for service all around the world
what it means to grow up
I have rotten luck with airplanes
my mother and my sister are the best friends a girl could ever ask for
I do not know how to save money
I am blessed beyond measure
having a man is a "privilege" that I can live without for a while
sometimes you just need to talk it out
when life gives you lemons, stick them up your shirt and pretend like they are boobs
friends may leave but my piano will always be there to pick me back up
I have patella femoral syndrome (ok so I only just discovered this on Monday)
to accept the fact that despite the constant barrage of questions, The Lord helped me in my decision to not serve a mission at this time, and He is HAPPY with this choice because I turned to him and I will not sway through whatever the world blows at me because of my decision
I am me.
Now I am back at school and I have almost already finished a week of my sophomore year. Tomorrow I head to Bear Lake to spend time with a friend. I am so beyond excited for this school year and all the opportunities I will have. I am excited to learn and grow some more.
This summer I learned...
a little bit about how to spot your true friends
some more about the need for service all around the world
what it means to grow up
I have rotten luck with airplanes
my mother and my sister are the best friends a girl could ever ask for
I do not know how to save money
I am blessed beyond measure
having a man is a "privilege" that I can live without for a while
sometimes you just need to talk it out
when life gives you lemons, stick them up your shirt and pretend like they are boobs
friends may leave but my piano will always be there to pick me back up
I have patella femoral syndrome (ok so I only just discovered this on Monday)
to accept the fact that despite the constant barrage of questions, The Lord helped me in my decision to not serve a mission at this time, and He is HAPPY with this choice because I turned to him and I will not sway through whatever the world blows at me because of my decision
I am me.
Now I am back at school and I have almost already finished a week of my sophomore year. Tomorrow I head to Bear Lake to spend time with a friend. I am so beyond excited for this school year and all the opportunities I will have. I am excited to learn and grow some more.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
19
I celebrated early this year, yesterday I tested into the math class I need to take in the fall. That was my gift to myself.
Celebrate what you might ask?
Well Today I turned 19.
What a wonderful day today has been. I spent a lovely morning with my momma and my sister at Gardener Village then went to lunch with my friend Brandee. It got even better when me and Brandee got to work together. After my shift at work was over my dear friend Maddie surprised me after work with some beautiful flowers, and some wonderful gifts.
Honestly every year I get older, and every year I am amazed at the love people show.
Thank you to all of you for your love on this wonderfully special day
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Words Are Not Enough (that is why it took me a month to write this)
OK so it has taken me forever to write this post... I started it a month ago...
It really is true. No words can describe the experiences I have had over the past month. I was able to spend just over 3 weeks all around the wonderful African country of Uganda. I had the opportunity to see, experience and do things that I never thought I would ever have the chance to do. There are so many experiences that I wish that everyone could have, yet I don't think I could describe them well enough to do them justice. So this post might be a little long because I am completely overwhelmed with emotions and feelings towards this past month.
So we headed out early in the morning on May 14th. We spent many hours on the plane and in airports. Our first flight took us to Chicago, then from Chicago to Amsterdam then finally from Amsterdam to Entebbe or Uganda (with a short stop in Kagali). We arrived late in the evening on Wednesday.
Our first full day we spent acclimating to the time zone and getting all our luggage organized. That day I made the mistake of taking my anti-malaria pill on an empty stomach. Well that made me sick all morning. The next day we visited our very first orphanage/school. This school was situated on the top of an island in Lake Victoria. It took a two hour drive on very bumpy dirt roads and then a short 20 minute boat ride through the marshes on a tiny fishing boat. To say we were warmly welcomed would be an understatement. Before we even stepped foot out of the van little hands were reaching out to grasp ours. Here is where I saw a young man wearing an american flag t-shirt with the date 1999 on it, you know the ones that places like Old Navy sell, the ones that people buy every year (because it has the year on it) wear once then get rid of it. The design was so worn down that you could hardly tell what it was anymore. We spent four days on the island and I enjoyed every moment of it.
Next we moved northward in the country to the area known as Gulu. 15 years ago this was the central area where the war was fought and they are still rebuilding. Here the only words to describe it is HOT HOT HOT! We were sweating from every pore as we traveled around the city visiting villages and schools. This is where I had my second nervous break down. Upon walking into my small hotel room I found large spiders along my ceiling and all over in the bathroom. Those of you who know me know that I hate spiders with a flaming passion.
Following Gulu we traveled to Murchison Falls National Park along the Nile. Here we developed a flat tire in the middle of the park. We also had a run in with many a swarm of Titze flies. If you don't believe the saying that looks can be deceiving you have obviously never met a large swarm of these vicious flies. They look harmless and innocent but in all actuality they are biting beasts. This was the only the beginning of our wildlife adventures along the Nile. Giraffes. These are literally the most amazing animals in the world. Not only are they amazing they are also my favorite. And well our jeep safari proved a fruitful place to witness these majestic creatures. We saw over 100 Giraffes in the wild. Along with my favorite animal we saw water buffalo, warthogs, lions, elephants, lots of different types of antelope, birds, and an amazingly strange looking animal known as a Heartbeeste. Following our jeep safari we took a river boat up the Nile river to the base of Murchison Falls. We saw the airplane crash site of Earnest Hemingway, lots and lots of hippos and birds, more elephants, a few crocodiles and wonderful scenic views. At the base of the falls we disembarked the boat and hiked the arduous trail to the top of the falls. There we were greeted with cool mists from the cascading falls. It was incredible to be in a country where so many do not have any source of water then to stand by the top of the falls where 800 cubic meters of water fall per second. The following day we left the park and continued on our way to Lira.
In Lira we were greeted by some more hot weather and slow service at restaurants. Here a few of us were lucky enough to attend the Sunday services at the local branch of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The people were so welcoming. Here we worked at an orphanage, a women's center as well as a school for the deaf. At the Women's Center I did an eye clinic. Here I met a remarkable 76 year old woman (just so you know the average life expectancy is only about 52) I checked her eyes and gave her a pair of glasses. The first thing she wanted to do was to see if she could read her bible, well she could. The look of pure joy on her face when she looked up at me cannot be described. She spoke no English and I could not speak her language but I didn't need to, happiness and joy, exultation and gratitude are a universal language. It was then I really grew to appreciate the work we were doing.
Following Lira we traveled south past the equator, it literally felt like we were traveling into heaven. The weather was wonderfully cooler which was quite welcome after the heat we had experienced in the north. We spent two days at a school called Byana Mary Hill here we danced for hours with the kids in a classroom we learned some native dance style. Worn out and tired we returned to our hotel. After another day at this school we spent our final day of visits at God's Grace. It was a bittersweet feeling knowing we would not get to experience the welcoming feeling we had been given at all the previous locations.
We returned to the capital Kampala. Me Kami and Kelli went on an excursion to white water raft the Nile river. We rafted through rain and sunshine as well as some major rapids. On one of the class 5 rapids our boat flipped. Well we still had quite a ways to go through the rapids. I imagine that's how it would feel if you were stuck in a washing machine on the heavy cycle. Here we spent a day shopping for souvenirs. It was amazing to watch people create the wonderful things we were buying. Sooner than I though possible it was time to return home. 7 PM on June 5th we left the hotel Yovanni where we had been staying and drove to the airport. We took a 7 hour flight to Amsterdam through the night and arrived early in the morning only to find out that our flight to Detroit had been canceled. Soon we had been rerouted through Portland. This 11 1/2 hour flight was brutal. Thank heavens for in flight movies. I was stuck in a middle seat. That was terrible. We arrived in Portland and made our way through customs. Then we discovered that our flight to Salt Lake had been delayed about 2 hours. While waiting for our flight we heard a loud boom on the tarmac. There a military fighter jet caught on fire. Well the whole airport was shut down, no one coming no one leaving. Well we had no choice but to wait. And we waited, and waited, eight hours we waited. I was supposed to arrive in SLC at 2 in the afternoon on the 6th but did not land until 9 PM. (or early morning on the 7th in Kampala.)
Despite getting sick, almost dying in the Nile river rapids, and having my heart ripped out by a 2 month old baby girl who was an orphan I will never regret this wonderful opportunity.
(here is a link to some pictures from my trip! )
It really is true. No words can describe the experiences I have had over the past month. I was able to spend just over 3 weeks all around the wonderful African country of Uganda. I had the opportunity to see, experience and do things that I never thought I would ever have the chance to do. There are so many experiences that I wish that everyone could have, yet I don't think I could describe them well enough to do them justice. So this post might be a little long because I am completely overwhelmed with emotions and feelings towards this past month.
So we headed out early in the morning on May 14th. We spent many hours on the plane and in airports. Our first flight took us to Chicago, then from Chicago to Amsterdam then finally from Amsterdam to Entebbe or Uganda (with a short stop in Kagali). We arrived late in the evening on Wednesday.
Our first full day we spent acclimating to the time zone and getting all our luggage organized. That day I made the mistake of taking my anti-malaria pill on an empty stomach. Well that made me sick all morning. The next day we visited our very first orphanage/school. This school was situated on the top of an island in Lake Victoria. It took a two hour drive on very bumpy dirt roads and then a short 20 minute boat ride through the marshes on a tiny fishing boat. To say we were warmly welcomed would be an understatement. Before we even stepped foot out of the van little hands were reaching out to grasp ours. Here is where I saw a young man wearing an american flag t-shirt with the date 1999 on it, you know the ones that places like Old Navy sell, the ones that people buy every year (because it has the year on it) wear once then get rid of it. The design was so worn down that you could hardly tell what it was anymore. We spent four days on the island and I enjoyed every moment of it.
Next we moved northward in the country to the area known as Gulu. 15 years ago this was the central area where the war was fought and they are still rebuilding. Here the only words to describe it is HOT HOT HOT! We were sweating from every pore as we traveled around the city visiting villages and schools. This is where I had my second nervous break down. Upon walking into my small hotel room I found large spiders along my ceiling and all over in the bathroom. Those of you who know me know that I hate spiders with a flaming passion.
Following Gulu we traveled to Murchison Falls National Park along the Nile. Here we developed a flat tire in the middle of the park. We also had a run in with many a swarm of Titze flies. If you don't believe the saying that looks can be deceiving you have obviously never met a large swarm of these vicious flies. They look harmless and innocent but in all actuality they are biting beasts. This was the only the beginning of our wildlife adventures along the Nile. Giraffes. These are literally the most amazing animals in the world. Not only are they amazing they are also my favorite. And well our jeep safari proved a fruitful place to witness these majestic creatures. We saw over 100 Giraffes in the wild. Along with my favorite animal we saw water buffalo, warthogs, lions, elephants, lots of different types of antelope, birds, and an amazingly strange looking animal known as a Heartbeeste. Following our jeep safari we took a river boat up the Nile river to the base of Murchison Falls. We saw the airplane crash site of Earnest Hemingway, lots and lots of hippos and birds, more elephants, a few crocodiles and wonderful scenic views. At the base of the falls we disembarked the boat and hiked the arduous trail to the top of the falls. There we were greeted with cool mists from the cascading falls. It was incredible to be in a country where so many do not have any source of water then to stand by the top of the falls where 800 cubic meters of water fall per second. The following day we left the park and continued on our way to Lira.
In Lira we were greeted by some more hot weather and slow service at restaurants. Here a few of us were lucky enough to attend the Sunday services at the local branch of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The people were so welcoming. Here we worked at an orphanage, a women's center as well as a school for the deaf. At the Women's Center I did an eye clinic. Here I met a remarkable 76 year old woman (just so you know the average life expectancy is only about 52) I checked her eyes and gave her a pair of glasses. The first thing she wanted to do was to see if she could read her bible, well she could. The look of pure joy on her face when she looked up at me cannot be described. She spoke no English and I could not speak her language but I didn't need to, happiness and joy, exultation and gratitude are a universal language. It was then I really grew to appreciate the work we were doing.
Following Lira we traveled south past the equator, it literally felt like we were traveling into heaven. The weather was wonderfully cooler which was quite welcome after the heat we had experienced in the north. We spent two days at a school called Byana Mary Hill here we danced for hours with the kids in a classroom we learned some native dance style. Worn out and tired we returned to our hotel. After another day at this school we spent our final day of visits at God's Grace. It was a bittersweet feeling knowing we would not get to experience the welcoming feeling we had been given at all the previous locations.
We returned to the capital Kampala. Me Kami and Kelli went on an excursion to white water raft the Nile river. We rafted through rain and sunshine as well as some major rapids. On one of the class 5 rapids our boat flipped. Well we still had quite a ways to go through the rapids. I imagine that's how it would feel if you were stuck in a washing machine on the heavy cycle. Here we spent a day shopping for souvenirs. It was amazing to watch people create the wonderful things we were buying. Sooner than I though possible it was time to return home. 7 PM on June 5th we left the hotel Yovanni where we had been staying and drove to the airport. We took a 7 hour flight to Amsterdam through the night and arrived early in the morning only to find out that our flight to Detroit had been canceled. Soon we had been rerouted through Portland. This 11 1/2 hour flight was brutal. Thank heavens for in flight movies. I was stuck in a middle seat. That was terrible. We arrived in Portland and made our way through customs. Then we discovered that our flight to Salt Lake had been delayed about 2 hours. While waiting for our flight we heard a loud boom on the tarmac. There a military fighter jet caught on fire. Well the whole airport was shut down, no one coming no one leaving. Well we had no choice but to wait. And we waited, and waited, eight hours we waited. I was supposed to arrive in SLC at 2 in the afternoon on the 6th but did not land until 9 PM. (or early morning on the 7th in Kampala.)
Despite getting sick, almost dying in the Nile river rapids, and having my heart ripped out by a 2 month old baby girl who was an orphan I will never regret this wonderful opportunity.
(here is a link to some pictures from my trip! )
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